by gloria on July 2, 2010
You’ve been asking. It’s finally here and Sandi and I are excited! Your Banded Living™ Community, a place for patients by patients, is here. As followers of our blogs, please check out bandedliving.com and tell us what you think. Bandedliving.com is:
- A place to interact with other members of the banded living community
- A place for patients by patients; you want convenient on-line support
- A place to learn from your peers, share, and get honest information from many sources
- A place that welcomes everyone, no matter where they are on their journey
- A community that doesn’t care who made your band, how much it holds or where you had your surgery
Please go and look around the site. Join (it’s free!) so that you can become a member of the Banded Living community and access our forums where you can view, join or start a discussion. Many of you have been asking – yes, you need to join even if you already subscribe to our blogs.
We can’t wait to hear from you.
by gloria on March 15, 2010
2 Successful lap band patients in 1 pair of before pants!
I have battled obesity as long as I can remember. I vividly recall the pain and embarrassment of being weighed in my elementary school gym, praying that the school aide would not announce my weight for everyone to hear. I started dieting at the age of 10. My days were defined as good or bad by what I ate and how my clothes fit. I have been on every diet you can think of; I took diet pills for years; I cannot remember a year when I didn’t gain or lose at least 40 or 50 pounds. My hunger never went away.
I was an overweight (okay, fat) child, an overweight teen, and an overweight adult. I spent my life yo-yoing. For me, dieting was like holding my breath; eventually I had to come up for air. The irony is that except for my battle with weight, I’ve been successful at everything I’ve ever attempted. I’m very fortunate. I have a great marriage, two wonderful children, and true friends, and I’ve enjoyed a successful career as an executive in Fortune 100 companies. But no matter how hard I tried, I could never take off the weight and keep it off. I wasn’t stupid and I wasn’t lazy. I was tired of doctors telling me that I need to eat less and exercise more … [click to continue…]
by gloria on March 14, 2010
Now You can download our free audios and videos directly from my blog site.
1. 7 Things I Wish Some Told Me Before I Had Lap-Band Surgery (Exploring and Preparing)
2. 7 Things You Should Know as you Prepare for Gastric Banding Surgery (Preparing)
Click here to access these audios and videos
by gloria on August 30, 2010
Even four years after being lapbanded, the idea of going to an all inclusive beach resort
makes me more than a little nervous – seven days and nights of unlimited food and drinks.
I had been looking forward to this trip all summer. My best friend since childhood and I went with our kids to a gorgeous resort in Cancun. Our girls call each other their “non-biological” sisters. You have no idea how happy that makes me. It was a great chance for us to re-connect and relax. Sun, hot weather, crystal clear water, music, great company, and happy kids are my idea of a perfect vacation.
My only fear was navigating the open bars, the restaurants, and the buffet. I painfully remember all the vacations that I didn’t really enjoy because I hated the way I looked; I was embarrassed to be seen in a bathing suit. Depending on where I was in my yo-yo dieting cycle, I’d either be starving myself, or eating and drinking everything in sight, and loathing myself for it!
I was reminded once again that it’s all about my choices. There are good choices for me and there are bad choices for me. I know what they are.
Good Choices - cooked to order eggs
I made good choices. I also found myself people watching. Some people can seemingly down 800 calorie drinks and plates of desserts without paying the consequences. Others, like me, can’t. I am responsible for me and what my body needs. My choices certainly weren’t perfect yet I used my lap band on vacation and it worked!
Bad Choices - these are my trigger foods
I had a great vacation. I didn’t feel pressure. We had fun. We laughed, we played, we swam, and we kicked back. I am proud when I see my healthy, fit, active kids loving an active life.
I came home last night. I weighed myself this morning and much to my surprise I was actually down 2 pounds! Now to be honest, I think that those 2 pounds are really a result of the work I did prior to vacation that didn’t show up on the scale until now. But still I didn’t gain weight on vacation! I had a great time even if I still haven’t made peace with the loose skin on my thighs.
unlimited high calorie drinks at the pool bar could have been a problem for me. My friend and our girls.
What I re-learned is that it’s still all about choices and having a plan. Here are some tips that worked for me on vacation:
- My band still restricts high quality solid foods even in a Caribbean paradise but…liquid calories – especially frozen drinks could easily be my downfall; water is the best choice at the pool bar.
- I kept up my physical activity – I used the gym, swam, joined in on the water aerobics and had fun keeping up with my kids.
- At the buffet – I walked the buffet without a plate. I surveyed the choices and developed a plan for what to put on my plate. There were lots of good choices but I had to “just say no” to my trigger foods.
- I didn’t deprive myself. I allowed myself small portions of some of the treats I REALLY wanted – one bit of my daughter’s profiterole; a mini-scoop of ice cream. (These are not triggers for me; my triggers are starches, breads, pastas, chips etc.)
- I wasn’t afraid to ask for what I didn’t see on the menu – no plain salad at the seafood grill was easily resolved.
- I brought protein powder – I always had my plan “B.”
- I had a great time and allowed myself to enjoy living in my body!
- Even if I had blown it, I would have gained a few pounds, but I wouldn’t have returned home at 232 lbs; I still have my lap band and I know how to use it.
Patty and Me
So, I went on vacation to a tropical paradise with my best friend. We’ve been best friends since 7th grade. Growing up she was tall and skinny and I was fat with a “pretty face” and always yo-yo dieting. When I look at the picture of us standing together, she’s still tall and in great shape and it’s hard to believe that really me standing next to her. My eyes are welling up with tears. Yes, that’s really me but I’m still surprised when I see a photo.
by gloria on August 21, 2010
When I talk with someone who is considering lap band surgery, I always ask “What are your goals in terms of health, weight- loss, and quality of life?” In many ways I know that that the specific weight is probably the least important goal, but like most people who struggle with weight, I have a hard time wrapping my head around “weight is just a number.” It’s a number I’ve spent much of my life battling with. For most of my life my days were defined as good or bad by that number.
When I made my decision to have lap band surgery, I thought long and hard about my goal weight. I knew I wanted to achieve a normal BMI (<25); at 5’5 a BMI of 25 is 150 lbs. But I also knew that getting below 150lbs was somewhat unrealistic. That meant I would have to achieve “results not typical.” I did not want to set myself up for failure again. I tried to think about the moments in my life when I felt comfortable in my skin – moments in my history of yo-yo dieting.
Reaching back into my memory I found myself with a vivid image. It was 1989 or 1990. I was single, living in an apartment in Forest Hills, NY. It was a brisk winter day; the sun was shining through the lobby of my apartment building. I clearly remember wearing a navy blue Jones NY straight skirt, a skirt that belonged to my favorite business suit. I paired that skirt with the softest v-neck, red angora sweater. My stomach was flat; the skirt didn’t strain at my thighs. I looked good. I felt good about myself. I felt good about how my clothes fit. I also probably hadn’t eaten all day but that’s another story for another day… I weighed 173 pounds on that day.
So when I set my goal weight I decided that if I could get to 173 pounds, stop yo-yoing, and stay there, I could be happy. For me having lap band surgery was more about losing weight and MAINTAINING it, than just about losing weight. I was a pro at losing weight. I was just never able to keep it off. Just as vividly as I remember how I felt in that navy skirt is the image I have of when Dr. Billy told me that a goal in the 170’s would be very realistic for me. He actually told me he thought it would be relatively easy for me to get to the 170’s. He warned me however that I would have to work really hard, if I wanted to get below the 170’s. That was a defining moment for me; it was also the moment I was 100% sure I was ready for lap band surgery and allowed me to set a realistic weight goal.
As my surgeon predicted, it was relatively easy for me to get into the 170’s using my lap band as a tool. I am so happy that I set that first realistic goal for myself. After successfully achieving that goal I worked on my next goal, getting into the 160’s. Those next ten pounds were hard work. Frankly after sailing into the 170’s I wasn’t prepared for how hard those next ten pound were going to be!
As you know I eventually did get to my ultimate goal of maintaining a normal weight (see My Lap Band Journey: Results Not Typical). This is how I set my goals throughout my transformation with lap band surgery:
Original weight goal:
- Starting weight: 232
- Original realistic goal weight: 173
Revised (stretch) weight goals:
- Second goal: <170
- Third goal: <160
- Ultimate goal: <150
- Weight range to maintain (set by my surgeon): 140 – 155
Boy that’s a lot of numbers! But breaking it down, one step at a time and setting incremental goals was really helpful for me.
What I learned is that it is really important to set realistic goals for lap band surgery. My realistic goal was based on a weight I knew I could actually be happy with because I had picture imprinted in my mind of me in my navy pencil skirt and red sweater , with a smile on my face and a good feeling in my heart. I believe that setting and believing in that realistic goal, allowed me to celebrate and gain confidence. After so many failed attempts at weight-loss, gaining that confidence was really important for me.
How do you set your goals for lap band surgery? Do you have realistic goals that you will be happy with? Do you have stretch goals?
by gloria on August 15, 2010
Tomorrow, August 16th marks four years since my lap band surgery story officially began. Four years ago after thinking about weight loss surgery for years in silent seclusion and after doing a lot of research, I took what at the time felt like a giant leap of faith and had lap band surgery. (Read my surgery day story.) Most days it feels like a lifetime ago – those are the days that I’m feeling strong and confident that I’ve conquered my obesity. On other days it seems like yesterday that I was confused and desperate, toying with the radical idea of having weight loss surgery.
Like so many things in life, my path to lap band surgery was a life-changing fork in the road. Here I am actually maintaining a normal, healthy weight since 2007. That is something I never thought was in the cards for me. I have achieved and surpassed my goals for lap band surgery. I can’t help but wondering what my life would be like today if I didn’t decide to have lap band surgery. I know it would be very different. This is the painful image I have of where I might be if I had not found the courage and had not chosen to have lap band surgery:
My health if I did not chose to have a lap band AND learn to use it – I’d probably be plagued with chronic back problems and debilitating joint pain in my knees and hips. I’d be on medication for high blood pressure and have difficulty walking up a flight of stairs. Based on what my endocrinologist told me years ago I’d probably have diabetes or be well on my way. My guess is that I’d also be suffering from depression.
My weight if I did not chose to have a lap band and learn to use it – I’d been yo-yoing all my life. I probably would have gained and lost 50 lbs a few more times or I may have just given up. Gaining at a rate of just 10 -15 pounds a year, I would have worked my weight into the high 200’s or more. I’d weigh a lot more than my muscular 6’ tall husband. I’d probably be wearing a 3X.
My quality of life if I did not chose to have a lap band and learn to use it – This might be the worst part for me. I’m welling up with tears just thinking about how I might feel about myself, angry frustrated, ashamed. I would probably be buying into all the negative stereotypes about people who are morbidly obese. Those stereotypes are so unfair. Obesity is not a choice! For me long-term dieting was always like holding my breath, eventually I had to come up for air, but it’s just not that way now that I have my lap band. Still I’m sure that my self-confidence would be so low that I’d probably be accepting those labels put on me. Getting dressed would be a chore each day – the fear of facing my closet to see what might fit, the sea of black stretch waist pants, the array of sizes. Would I volunteer in school? Probably not. I’d be angry with myself for the example I’d be setting for my kids. I’d be embarrassed to get undressed in front of my husband. I wouldn’t have scheduled my upcoming vacation at beach resort since wearing a bathing suit all week just wouldn’t be fun. I’d be avoiding the doctor’s office for fear of having to get on the scale. Who knows what physical limitations I’d be starting to experience? Yet, I would get up each day, frustrated, angry and self-loathing on the inside and try to put on my happy face. I’d still be pursuing a successful career, knowing there were some people wondering how such a successful executive could let herself go like that.
I could probably go on forever about how truly miserable I’d be feeling, but as you know that is NOT how my life is turning out. And I wouldn’t have met Sandi, my dear friend and lap band mentor. I certainly wouldn’t have had the courage to do something different with my time and pursue working with Sandi to pay it forward and create banded living to help other people like us. You have no idea how much paying it forward feeds my soul and propels me on this wonderful journey.
This before picture was taken EXACTLY four years ago today; This after picture is me now.
So here I find myself on my 4th year “bandiversay.” I am maintaining a normal, healthy weight. My skinny jeans fit. I’m a great role model for my kids. I am healthy. I feel strong and sexy (on most days). Yet I have to be honest with myself and share that I am at the high end of my final goal weight range. I also have to remind myself that I am human; I am struggling with 10 pounds like a normal person yet I have to be vigilant not to let this become an excuse.
Without my band I’m certain I’d weigh AT LEAST 100 – 150 pounds more than I weigh today. Maintaining average weight loss with the lap band (defined at 50% excess weight loss) would be pretty easy for me at this point in my journey. I find a lot of comfort in that. But I want to maintain “results not typical” because I want to be a role model for my kids; I want to continue loving living my life in my body; I want to give hope and inspiration to others. So even after lap band surgery I need to work my tool so it’s back to basics. I’ve scheduled an appointment with my surgeon to get a fill, I’m going to journal for a few weeks and I’m posting my rules of the band over my computer because even after four years that’s what I need to do!
by gloria on August 8, 2010
I was born and raised in New York City.
My NYC Elementary School Picture
Decades before I ever heard of lap band surgery I had pretty much seen all the top diet doctors in NYC in search of the magic bullet to my weight problem.
“The city” as I call it will always be like home to me. Earlier this week I met some colleagues at the Capital Grille in midtown Manhattan near the Theater district and Rockefeller Center. It was a hot summer night and the city was alive and filled with tourists; I was looking forward to having dinner with a friend I hadn’t seen in over a year.
I’ve been reading a lot about the 21st century response to the obesity epidemic requiring restaurants to post calories. I’ve thought about it from an academic perspective. There are arguments on both sides – is it a good thing or a bad thing to require restaurants to post calories? Like so many things in life, I didn’t anticipate how I would feel until I was confronted with the situation. As I was handed a menu at a business dinner with calorie counts this week, here’s what ran through my mind:
My first reaction was surprise. I didn’t realize New York had adopted this law – had I been living under a rock?- My next reaction was all about me. I started thinking that I don’t really need calorie counts on the menu. I’ve pretty much mastered eating on the road and “knowing” as my doctor calls it. I always have a plan or at least a plan “B” to use my tool (for more on how I use my tool). After years of journaling I’m good at approximating and special ordering in restaurants. So my plan “B” in a nice restaurant is to order broiled or grilled fish or seafood, sauce on the side, with a side salad, dressing on the side or shrimp cocktail; or as Sandi does so often to check the restaurants website ahead of time.
- Next I found myself watching how my colleagues reacted to the menu. Was their ordering influenced by having to stare at calorie counts when choosing what to eat? I don’t really know if their decisions were influenced by the calorie counts, but we all ordered some of the lowest calorie items. Interesting. Is that because calorie counts quickly became the topic of discussion thanks to me, or was it because seeing the information actually influenced my colleagues behavior? I don’t know but it was interesting and my dinner partner joking told our waitress that we would have 2 orders of the au gratin potatoes (listed at 1500+ calories each), before telling her that we really wanted the asparagus with the hollandaise on the side. As my husband points out, my colleagues eat on the road all the time, so this dinner is a meal, not a special occasion. That may also have influenced their choices.
- Finally I checked in with myself. Did I change how I ordered? The answer was yes! How did seeing the calorie counts on the menu make me feel? After being surprised to see the calorie counts on the menu, I was even more surprised to see that I really had a lot more good choices without special ordering than I realized. That was enlightening for me. The seafood entrees AS PREPARED ranged from 440 calories to 625 calories and I knew I would eat about half the portion. The halibut special I ordered, after checking with the chef was about 400 calories and it was delicious. That was a freeing experience for me. I had more options than I realized. Woohoo, seeing calories on the menu actually gave me more choices.
Click on the Capital Grille Menu if you want to be able to read it. Very enlightening!
Even with my lap band, I know that I still need to pay attention to calories in vs. calories out. I also know it’s not that simple; there are just some foods that I don’t do well with, so I still need to pay attention to what works for me. Four years since lap band surgery, on most days I pay attention to knowing roughly how many calories I eat, how much protein I am getting and how much I exercise. That magic weight loss bullet I shopped for endlessly still hasn’t arrived; but I’m thrilled to have my lap band – it makes following a “sensible” eating plan SOOO much easier for me. For me sensible is about 1500 – 1750 calories a day, including 80 or more grams of protein plus exercise to maintain my weight.
Now I can’t help but wondering… when I first saw calorie counts on a menu at a Cheesecake Factory in California more than a year ago I was scared half to death; there was almost nothing on the menu for under 1000 calories – I found myself trying to subtract for the sauces I ordered on the side. Has posting calories impacted the choices that restaurants offer? I just checked the Cheesecake Factory website and I noticed some lower calorie options that I didn’t see a year ago. I can also tell you that next time someone offers to take me to the Capital Grille I’m going! I like seeing calorie counts on the menu; sometimes it gives me MORE tasty choices and it can help me continue to be a lap band success!
by gloria on August 1, 2010
When I moved cross-country to a place where no one knew me before lap band surgery a really strange thing happened. 
People assumed I never had a weight problem. Now that sounds like a great thing, but it’s actually been kind of difficult for me. I was already at the point in my journey back on the west coast where the compliments had started slowing down; I was no longer receiving that daily dose of: “OMG you look great! How are you doing it? I didn’t even recognize you…” Those compliments that came many times a day, slowed down to a trickle and when I moved, they pretty much came to a screeching halt.
Since childhood I always fantasized about what it would be like to live in a normal body. So here I found myself in a normal body confused; I guess that should have been a reason to celebrate – an NSV (non-scale victory). Instead I felt lost, like someone had shut off a major spigot of motivation for me. To complicate matters, I am an extrovert; the definition of an extrovert is that you get energy from others. I found myself missing and craving those compliments, the constant reminders of how far I’d come which are a huge motivating force for me. Thanks to my lap band I got what I asked for, now how to keep it…
I found myself needing new sources of motivation and having to accept that I need others to help propel me on my journey. I can’t do this alone. I don’t want to do this alone. Some things that have helped me when the compliments stopped coming are:
- Reinforcement from my kids; my daughter constantly reminds me that I am healthy, fit and strong, and even better she models a lot of my behaviors
- Trying on clothes, whether it’s “shopping” in my own closet or in stores; when I am reminded that I wear single digits, I get a lot of reinforcement
- Joining a new gym; people looked at me as one of the fit people at the gym; yes folks keep those compliments coming…
- Talking to my mentor on a daily basis
- Fishing for compliments from my husband (now that’s not beneath me…and if you know my husband, he doesn’t make it easy…)
- Going public with my story. I was very private about my decision to have lap band surgery – now it’s all over the internet. I share my story with anyone who will listen
- Reaching out to others and paying it forward
- Listening to others who are on this journey. I’m always in awe of how much inspiration I get from people who are early on their own journeys, on a daily basis
- Going back and re-reading my goals for lap band surgery; re-reading old food journals
And so when all else failed I finally gave in and put up a facebook page – something I had been very resistant to. OK that’s not the reason I finally got on facebook, but imagine how I felt when all those people from elementary school posted on my wall: “WOW, you look great.” Now we know what they meant, but it made me feel……..well, great!
by gloria on July 18, 2010
This week I read the story of a patient who “failed” her lap band surgery on one of the message boards. I get really disheartened when I hear about people who have “failed” with lap band surgery, and I also work really hard to learn, to see if I can understand why. Failure can mean many things: failure to achieve average weight loss; failure to achieve your goals; failure to achieve someone else’s goals for you. I talk with hundreds of patients; in my experience, the most successful lap band patients are those who go in to surgery with “their eyes wide open,” with realistic expectations and a plan. All too often, as was the case in this particular story I hear something to the effect of “I had a weight loss surgery; it was supposed to work. I didn’t know I would have to…or, if I could have done that, I wouldn’t have needed this surgery…”
So, I think back to the days when I was researching and preparing for lap band surgery. I was very confused. I didn’t know which surgery was best for me. I didn’t really understand what everyone meant when they said the surgery was a tool. I’m a planner and I NEED data, so I spent nearly a year seriously researching weight loss surgery, even longer lurking on message boards. If you’ve read my early exploring blog entries, you know that I was very confused about whether I wanted a lap band or gastric bypass. Reliable, unbiased information was hard to find, and long-term successful lap band patients were even harder to come by. Eventually I met Sandi, as well as other lap band patients, my peers, who helped me make sense of it all. Sandi helped me understand what she did to be a successful lap band patient. I went out to dinner with Sandi and other lap band patients from the support group. I learned by listening, and I learned by seeing. I learned that different people ate differently, yet they were still successful. Each one of these successful lap band patients had a plan and knew what they needed to do. They were skilled at using their tool. My peers helped me go into lap band surgery with my “eyes wide open,”
with realistic expectations, with a plan and a support structure that could help me achieve success and reach my goals. (If you are interested in reading more about my goals for lap band surgery or to post your own goals, click here).
I was so very lucky to find Sandi and Dr. Billy and his team who were all intensely focused on helping me understand what I needed to do to be a successful lap band patient. Let’s face it, after all the diets I had been on, the hundreds of pounds lost and re-gained, regardless of what I said I was still hoping for that magic wand. I could have easily fallen into the school of expecting the lap band to do all the work. I could have been the one saying “it (the lap band) was supposed to…”
I have the opportunity to talk with a lot of people who want to learn, who want to know what it takes to be a lap band success. If you are one of those people you may want to check out some of the articles written for people preparing for lap band surgery , or to understand how I use my tool, click here. As part of our commitment to pay it forward, Sandi and I are trying to share what we’ve learned, and what we continue to learn on this journey.
There are a few members of our Banded Living community, who are getting ready for lap band surgery this coming week and are planning, reading, asking questions, and working hard to prepare. You know who you are; we’re all here to support you!
We also have some members who are struggling and looking for support and inspiration to go back to the basics of using the tool. It’s not too late. You may want to visit setbacks, regain and plateaus.
I think planning to be a lap band success boils down to some key points:
- Do your homework so that you can go forward “with your eyes wide open.”
- Surround yourself with people who can help you on your journey.
- Understand what YOU need to do to work your tool and achieve YOUR goals.
- Have a plan to work your tool everyday.
So, tell me what you think about this?
