It’s the end of the year. I’m feeling a little overwhelmed with shopping and planning and all of my responsibilities over the next few weeks. I always let myself get stressed this time of year and need to remember to get back to basics of family and friends and the spirit of this holiday season. My husband and I talk a lot about our values this time of year, about doing the right thing and being kind. For me a need to pay it forward on my lap band journey gives me an opportunity to help others who are struggling with their weight the way I struggled. So I find myself writing this blog at a time that I’m also thinking about last minute shopping, and wrapping and …
This week someone asked me a question that often comes up. It’s one of the questions that I had when I was getting ready for surgery. It goes something like this: “I’ve done a lot of research about lap band surgery… if I still have to do all this work, am I going to fail again? I’ve never been able to stick with anything that requires me to follow rules and make the right food choices. If I could do that I wouldn’t be considering surgery. How is this different that all the diets I’ve been on?”
When I hear this question I am flooded with my feelings from when I was trying to figure out whether or not to have weight loss surgery and which surgery to consider. At any given moment I was confused, scared, excited, and afraid to be excited.
But when I hear this question from someone preparing for surgery I also know that I am hearing from someone who is really doing their homework and understands that weight loss surgery is not a magic bullet. That makes me smile because I’ve learned that it’s really important that we go into this surgery with our eyes wide open. The lap band really is a tool and we need to learn to operate it.
So how do I answer that question?
The lap band helps most of us with hunger, satiety and portion control. It can be really hard to understand what this feels like if you don’t have a lap band. Frankly I don’t ever remember really being satisfied before, being able to push away from the table and feel like I really had enough. Now I can push away comfortably after eating a small amount of food, a serving that fills a salad plate. For me, my properly adjusted lap band is the difference that makes is so much easier to stick with the “rules” for the long haul. I am no longer white-knuckling it. I had failed my whole life with diet and exercise. Hunger and portion control were huge for me. My lap band helps me with physical hunger; it doesn’t help with head hunger – like I’m really stressed over a project for work and I want to eat something to quiet those feelings. In addition, when it comes to portion control the lap band helps when I choose solid foods; high calories liquids like shakes and frozen margaritas go right thru the band, so does ice cream. My band also doesn’t know the difference between grilled chicken and fried onion rings, so choices are still really important.
What I learned is that 95% of us with a lot of weight to lose fail with diet and exercise alone – achieving ZERO excess weight loss at three years and beyond. It was a huge relief for me to find those statistics because I always felt so alone. I felt like such a failure. Throughout my life I heard one too many doctors tell me to eat less and exercise more. As I was researching the different weight loss surgeries I learned that according to published studies lap band patients achieve 50% excess weight loss at 3 years and beyond. So I knew that my odds were much better with the lap band than with diet and exercise.
When I made my decision to have surgery, these stats really helped me with my decision but I still felt like I was taking a giant leap of faith. I surrounded myself with people who were successful on this journey – I wanted to learn from them and I must admit I was secretly hoping that some of their “magic” would rub off on me! I went to support group meetings, I went out to dinner with other lap band patients. I watched what they ordered and how they ate.
At the risk of sounding like a commercial for “Is Lap Band Surgery For Me?”, our book available on amazon.com, I can honestly say that this book will help if you a wrestling with these types of questions. That’s why we wrote it! It’s hard to get the answers from a patient’s perspective. It is my deepest hope that my friend and lap band mentor Sandi and I are paving the way to make this journey a little easier for others as we get ready to ring in 2011.
For me this has proven to be completely different than my hundreds of failed attempts at weight loss. My lap band helps me with hunger, portion control, and satiety. In the spirit of the holiday season, and at the risk of sounding corny, this is the gift that keeps on giving for me. Having my lap band and learning how to use it has made the difference between failing again, and finally having control of my health, my weight, and my self-esteem.
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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
When I read this post, it felt like I had written it myself! I had lapband surgery in April of this year and I am beginning to understand why it was the best choice for me. I have my band adjusted to the point that it is working for me. Prior to lapband, I felt like it took a truckload of food to make me “full” and leave the table. Now, I am so full after eating a regular portion of food that I couldn’t possibly put another bite in my mouth. It actually becomes uncomfortable if I eat more than I should. Sometimes, I do have those days where I just want to eat something bad – and it’s ok. I do eat something bad!!! But, the band always reminds me that almost anything is ok in moderation – except, in my case, red meats and fibrous veggies!
That was my biggest question and fear. I asked the same question of you when I was deciding to get banded. Thank you to Gloria and Sandi for starting this web site, you have and will continue to help and inspire so many people. For years I have not been able to control my eating. I could never hit that magic number and get 20 lbs off let alone over a hundred. I know this is just the beginning for me, but I am happy to say that I am at my lowest weight since I got pregnant 6 years ago and it has only been 20 days. 20 lbs down in 20 days I am watching myself melt away. I literally had to change my life in this time, as I did nothing before to prepare and seems they had an opening and I was drowning emotionally, I took a leap of faith that is paying off. My highest weight was 320lbs when I gave birth to my daughter and I was over 300lbs for 2 years. I am happy to say that I am 258lbs as of yesterday. I do not have that energy surge yet, but I am looking forward to starting an exercise program this week. To answer the question why does it work? Not 100% sure, but it just does. I hate to say this, but I use to eat so fast, I could win a food eating contest hands down. The amount of food I eat(in a small bowl) I could eat in under a minute and I am not joking, now takes 15-20 min.(I never thought that was possible) I still have to count in my head my chews, or I tend to start gulping. Eating every 2 1/2 to 3 hours is critical for my success. Anyone who thinks this is the easy way out is dead wrong, it is no magic pill for sure, but it is a great tool if it is used properly. I still get cravings(but way fewer) I have had 3 cheats since I started, a kinder surprise, 6 herseys kisses and a few shortbread cookies( I was so hungry in the beginning) not all at once. My cheats now are nothing and I am so happy with the results, it is easy not to splurge. For example, I had not taken anything out to eat when I went shopping, I was so hungry as my stomach snarled at me and I thought, mmm chinese food, mmm maybe Japanese would be nice and then I thought how about going home and having something healthy(now there’s a concept I rarely thought of) and I went home and had cottage cheese and peaches and was totally satisfied and much happier the next day when 3lbs went down on that scale. All I can say is I wish I had done this sooner. I know that this is the last time, I will weigh over 260lbs. It just keeps getting better. To top it off I am going through a horrible break up(my boyfriend broke up with me 2 weeks before my surgery, he did not want me to have it, in fact forbid me to have surgery) I am an emotional eater. I think perhaps it is why I am not feeling massive energy, I am so sad everyday for the loss of my childrens father and the fact I still have to see him, does not help. So if I can do this in the face of what i am going through, things can only get better. Life is good today.
The biggest thing for me to get over now 5 months post op is the amount of food I eat. I am not hungry , but eating a 1/4 cup of food compared to about 3 cups before surgery , it makes you feel like your starving yourself. Your NOT. I sit at the table now and my family keeps trying to get me to eat more and I laugh. I have to get over that mentality that more is better and I am not going to starve.